Computer Knowledge
Path: athena.cs.uga.edu!emory!ogicse!uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!looking!funny-request
From: denelsbe@cs.unc.edu (Kevin Denelsbeck)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Lessons Learned From Comp 4
Keywords: computer, funny
Message-ID: [S317.5889@looking.on.ca]
Date: 17 Oct 91 10:30:04 GMT
Lines: 97
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
I recently finished up teaching Comp 4, the computer literacy course here at
UNC, during a compressed summer session. Comp 4 is an introductory class that
assumes NO knowledge of computers among its students, and believe me when I say
that this was often the case. The class was great fun to teach, and one of the
facets that made it interesting (day-in and day-out) was the wealth of new
knowledge that the students imparted to me on tests and examinations. I
thought that I'd share some of these nuggets with you. My comments are in
the standard C delimiters (/* and */). *Your* comments are encouraged. Here
goes:
Bacchus invented FORTRAN. /* I knew FORTRAN was old, and that it may
have been designed under the influence of alcohol, but... */
There are three kinds of program statements: sequence, repetition, and
seduction.
There are two types of graphics: vector and rascal. /* Otay... */
Programming languages have specifictions. /* Obviously this student
has dealt with a few standards. */
Macs are compatible with each other. /* Imagine the alternative:
"What's your Mac's serial number? We'll go back to the ware-
house and get your software." */
Doctors use computers to create a three demential picture of a person's
brain. /* Is this classic, or what? */
One kind of a hostile computer program is a Trojan.
C is a logical programming language. /* [rim shot] */
Heuristics (from the French heure, "hour") limit the amount of time
spent executing something. [When using heuristics] it
shouldn't take longer than an hour to do something. /* An
absolutely terrific "false cognate". */
Having the computer automatically fill in images for animation is
called "spleening". /* Derivation: most likely "splines" +
"tweening". */
One method of computer security is a phone line. /* She qualified it
later by adding, "You have to know the number." */
Video games are examples of fault-tolerant systems.
On one test, I gave the students some abbreviations and asked them to tell me
what they stood for. You won't believe the creativity of a student in a test
situation. For example, one of the abbreviations was "fax", which *really*
stands for "facsimile". However, various Comp 4'ers said it stood for:
Fiber-optic Aided Xeroxing
Frequency Automatic X-rays
/* and my favorite... */
Fast A** Xeroxing
The students also had to hand in term papers, and these were rife with interes-
ting tidbits. I've clipped a few, quoted verbatim:
"The worst thing the Mac has to offer, is that cooperative multitasking
is not available to be used."
"... footnotes present an interesting problem, which may be solvable by
Hypercad." /* I assume the last term is the newest rage -- a
free-form database for designers. */
"...Linda, a blind girl, was able to attend public school due to the
aid of a speaking computer that taught her the basic
fundmamentals [sic] of grammar and spelling." /* Linda may
want to lend her computer out... */
"The program is manufactured by Quantel, a Silicon Valley company
located in Clearwater, Florida." /* A *long* valley, as my
roommate put it. */
"At the beginning of each season [Edwin] Moses teats himself on
computerized weight machines..." /* Ouch! */
Hope you enjoyed all these. If you've had similar experiences, I'd love to
hear about them!
Cheers,
Kev @ UNC
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